His Apologies

Master, this is thy servant. He is rising eight weeks old.

He is mainly head and tummy. His legs are uncontrolled

But thou hast forgiven his ugliness, and settled him on thy knee.

Master, behold a sinner! He hath committed a wrong

He has defiled thy premises through being kept in too long

Wherefore his nose has been rubbed in the dirt, and his self respect  has been bruised

Master, pardon they sinner! And see he is properly loosed

Master- again thy sinner! This that was once thy shoe

He hath found and taken and carried aside, as fitting matter to chew

Now there is neither blacking nor tongue, and the Housemaid has us in tow

Master, remember thy servant is young, and tell her to let him go!

Master extol thy servant! Strange children came to play

And because they fought to caress him, thy servant wentest away

But now the little beasts have gone, he has returned to see

(Brushed with his Sunday collar on) what they have left over from tea

Master, pity thy servant! He is deaf and three parts blind

He cannot catch thy commandments. He cannot read thy mind

Oh! Leave him not in his loneliness; nor make him that kitten's scorn

He hath had none other God than thee since the year that he was born

Lord, look down on thy servant! Bad things have come to pass

There is no heat in the midday sun, nor health in the wayside grass

His bones are full of an old disease- his torments run and increase

Lord, make haste with thy lightenings, and grant him a quick release!

~ Rudyard Kipling ~